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February 17, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10 Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something

9 Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler

8 Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"

7 Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors

6 Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits

5 Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso

4 Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy

3 Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products

2 Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"

1 Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

February 16, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Abraham lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today

10 "Sup?"

9 "I see Madonna's still a slut"

8 "Who's that handsome sumbitch on the five?"

7 "Is that free Grand Slam deal still going on at Denny's?"

6 "I just changed my Facebook status update to, Tthe 'ol rail splitter is chillaxing'"

5 "How do I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'?"

4 "Okay, Obama, you're from Illinois, too. We get it!"

3 "Hey Phelps, don't Bogart the weed!"

2 "What's the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?"

1 "A Broadway play? Uhhh, no thanks. I'm good."

January 28, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard at the Meeting Between Barack Obama and the Republicans

10 "I miss the Clinton administration when we'd meet at Hooters"

9 "Can we wrap this up? I've got tickets to the 4:30 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

8 "Smoke break!"

7 "You fellas really need to take it easy on the Old Spice"

6 "Mr. President: don't misunderestimate the Republicans"

5 "Another smoke break!"

4 "What was the deal with Aretha Franklin's hat?"

3 "About that tax the rich stuff -- you were joking, right?"

2 "Sir, it's refreshing to have a Chief Executive who speaks in complete sentences"

1 "Senator Craig's offering his stimulus package in the men's room"

January 27, 2009 - David Letterman - Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10 Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"

9 Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop

8 Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOYYYJEVICH"

7 Offer a senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest

6 Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape

5 Change his name to Barod Obamavich

4 Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River

3 I don't about showing up for his impeachment trial?

2 Wear sexy dresses, high heels and say, "You Betcha!"

1 Uhhh...resign?

January 16, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Signs Obama's Getting Nervious

10 New slogan: "Yes we can... or maybe not, it's hard to say"

9 In moment of confusion, requested a $300 billion bailout from the bailout industry

8 He's up to not smoking three packs a day

7 Friends say he's looking frail, shaky, that's McCain

6 He's so stressed, doctors say he's developing a Sanjay in his Gupta

5 Been walking around muttering, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

4 Offered Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, $100,000 to buy his old Senate seat back

3 Standing on White House roof screaming, "Save us, Superman!"

2 Sweating like Bill Clinton when Hillary comes home early

1 He demanded a recount

January 8, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy

10 Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon

9 End our dependence on foreign owls

8 Sell New Mexico to Mexico

7 Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee. Come on! It's a mortal lock!

6 Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

5 Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

4 Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

3 Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

2 Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America's money from China

1 Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'!

January 7, 2000 - David Letterman - Top Ten Things Overheard At The Presidents' Lunch

10 "Sorry, you're not on the list, Mr. Gore"

9 "If Hillary calls, I've been here since Monday"

8 "Laura! More Mountain Dew!"

7 "You guys wanna see, 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'?"

6 "Call the nurse -- George swallowed a napkin ring!"

5 "Hey Barack, wanna go with us to Cabo in March? Oh that's right, you have to work!"

4 "Kissey kissey"

3 "Obama? I think he's downstairs smoking a butt"

2 "Did you ever see a monkey sneezing?"

1 "I hope Clinton's unbuckling his belt because he's full"

December 1st, 2016

A #Trump Thanksgiving “Thank You” Tour – Plus – Ford, Carrier, Oreo – Oh My!!!

First Ford, then Carrier, and now possibly Oreo! Yup, President-Elect Donald J. Trump has done more for American workers than the present occupant of the White House has done in eight years.

President-Elect Donald J. Trump convinced Ford to keep jobs in the U.S. Today it was a wonderful event as President-Elect Donald J. Trump confirmed at a public event that Carrier jobs have also been saved. Now President-Elect Donald J. Trump might make those horrible Oreo cookies Great Again. The rumor is that the maker of those horrible Oreo cookies might make them tasty again by keeping jobs in the U.S.

He’s not even president yet and already you can feel the chains coming off as President-Elect Donald J. Trump Makes America Great Again.

This Carrier deal is very important. It’s important not only for the details of what happened but because of the message it sends.

This Carrier deal is not only good for the families of those whose jobs have been saved, politically important for what it says about the hard work and savvy of the President-Elect, and a shrewd and sharp knife against such as Paul Ryan. We won’t expand to much on all of this at this point; we won’t note the presidential election to come next year in France and the rise of François Fillon and other interesting repercussions of the “immeasurable” “vastness” of the “Trump Revolution” here in the United States on November 8, 2016.

We just want to enjoy tonight’s Victory Tour Thank You Tour as it begins in Cincinnati, Ohio. While we watch President-Elect Donald J. Trump in Cincinnati at 7:00 p.m. we will imagine Ohio Governor John Kasich watching this as well then we will chortle, giggle, and continue to enjoy the vastness of the Trump Revolution.

Can we have more Victory Tour Thank You Tour dates please? We just can’t get enough.

We have an idea.

We have a Great Idea, a Big Idea: We hereby declare December 1, to be a day to celebrate the election of Donald J. Trump and say “Thank You, Donald J. Trump”. We declare that on December 1 the nation shall have a reenactment of November 8, 2016 election night.

On this holiday we have just declared, we do like those Civil War reenactment guys that dress up as Union and Confederate troops and reenact battles. But we’ll reenact the drama of election night. We can once again be nervous, clutching our pearls at the beginning – even though we are sure of the outcome. Filled with trepidation and hope as the candles burn and there are no more fingernails left to bite and the night progresses. Then the great exultation and “hurrah” as the night sky filled with immeasurable vastness of real hope and real, not chump, CHANGE fills the sky like fireworks. We can even wear funny hats and Make America Great Again hats and Cat in the Hat hats. Make it fun. Endless winning!

We know some will say “We don’t need to reenact election night 2016 because for the next month we can enjoy as Donald J. Trump wins the Wisconsin recount, then the Michigan recount, then the Pennsylvania recount.” And yes, we do enjoy the recounts as certain supporters and candidates make greater fools of themselves. But we want more.

We want more. We’re not tired of winning. Maybe we should ask the fools to file for recounts in Texas — and Georgia — and Utah — and Ohio — and Alabama — and — well every state so we can have endless winning. We want more recounts. Pleeeeaaaseee.

We’re not tired of winning. We’re not Auntie ‘Em. We’re not tired of winning.

November 29th, 2016

@DrJillStein PA MI #WIRecount Help #PresidentElect @RealDonaldTrump And GOP, Kill #Hillary2016

Update: Our fourth point at the end comes to fruition. Trump wins again and the GOP can giggle in glee: Nancy Pelousy is again voted by Dimocrats to be the top Dimocrat. Dimocrats never learn:

Pelosi got 134 votes to Ryan’s 63. The victory sends a message that while there’s a growing appetite for major changes in the party’s leadership structure and messaging tactics, it’s not strong enough to loosen Pelosi’s grip on a liberal-heavy group that’s rarely challenged her authority.

Ryan and his supporters had argued that the Democrats’ grim performance in this year’s elections — the latest in a string of cycles planting Republicans firmly in the majority — was a clear signal that Pelosi’s leadership strategy has failed to attract the broad coalition of voters required to return the Speaker’s gavel to the Democrats’ hands.

The critics pointed, in particular, to the party’s alienation of the middle-class Rust Belt workers, who flocked to Trump and secured victories for a long list of vulnerable Republicans down the ballot.

As our article explains, this is great news for President-Elect Donald J. Trump and the GOP. This means the Dimocrats will take longer than ever to turn to the center and sanity. It’s bad news for the nation but in the rivalry between parties the last thing the GOP wanted was for the Obama Dimocrat Party to become once again the Democratic Party of FDR/Kennedy/Clinton. The Dims remain the party of the loons and President-Elect Donald J. Trump can continue to rack up big victories such as the Carrier deal which saves American jobs.

President-Elect Donald J. Trump can only giggle at the prospect of our fifth and sixth points coming to fruition. Good times. America Great Again – coming soon – after January 20, 2017.


President-Elect Donald J. Trump is in a win/win/win position; Jill Stein is playing a very smart game; Hillary Clinton and Hillary2016 are once again, as we have previously written, proving Hillary2016 is the dumbest campaign ever. Let’s look at the recount follies.

Green Party candidate Jill Stein’s call for a recount in three states Donald J. Trump won is a flim-flam scam worthy of flim-flam master Barack Obama. Stein’s game is all about the future of the Green Party and the 2020 beatdown of the Obama Party. This is something Republicans and Democrats don’t see as they mock or revile Jill Stein. Played correctly by President-Elect Donald J. Trump this could be yet another nail in the party of Barack Obama.

Look at how brilliantly Jill Stein has played the game. Jill Stein lost massively (1.04% of the vote, up from 0.36% of the vote in 2012) and in certain states (Michigan, Wisconsin) won enough of the vote to deny Hillary Clinton victory in those states. Jill Stein during the campaign attacked Hillary Clinton more than she attacked Donald J. Trump. Now, for the dimwits who hate Donald J. Trump, Jill Stein is a heroine. In one brilliant move Jill Stein went from hated in some quarters of the left, to respected, and perhaps even financed. Well played, girlfriend, well played.

Jill Stein helped Donald J. Trump and hurt Hillary Clinton during the campaign. Immediately after the campaign, Jill Stein gets money from Hillary Clinton supporters (and presumably some other nefarious sources such as the Soros family). Jill Stein attacked Hillary Clinton and she is rewarded with millions of dollars for her scam recounts from Hillary supporters! Jill Stein, also with this brilliant recount scam, has garnered more Big Media attention (12x the coverage), than she received during the entire presidential campaign.

But the millions of dollars scammed from the dimwits and the Big Media limelight are not what Jill Stein is up to. Jill Stein has bigger aims than filthy lucre and spotlights of Big Media and leftist love. Jill Stein has much bigger aims which the Republican Party, and President-Elect Donald J. Trump should be very happy about. Jill Stein’s smart moves, of course, completely elude the dumb-ass Hillary2016 campaign.

Jill Stein is up to something very very smart. Jill Stein if successful will destroy whatever remains of the entity that Barack Obama has trashed. Jill Stein doesn’t need to win the recounts. Jill Stein doesn’t even need to win. All Jill Stein wants is to leverage this election cycle for half a percent or perhaps a full percent (or 2 or 3 or 4 or more) of additional voter support for the Green Party in future elections. The results if that strategy succeeds is that the party of Barack Obama will never recover enough strength to win another presidential election unless it bows down to the Green Party. Repeat: Jill Stein and the Green Party strategy is to get enough support that the Obama Party cannot win without capitulating to the Greens. Well played, girlfriend, well played.

Jill Stein played her low cards with an experienced gambler’s dexterity. Having hurt Hillary Clinton during the election, Jill Stein became the Joan of Arc for Hillary Clinton supporters. Stein’s calls for money to finance her proposed recounts got her more money than her campaign ever received. But that was just the beginning. Jill Stein set herself up as the Joan of Arc fighting for the discouraged saps that voted for Hillary Clinton. This led to Hillary2016 once again proving itself, yet again, to be the dumbest campaign we have ever seen.

Perhaps it was fear of Jill Stein’s audacious move to fit into the armor of Joan of Arc that led Hillary2016 into further stupidity. But it is hard to tell. Hillary2016 was always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time so that perhaps it was just a force of habit that best explains the latest stupidity. Whatever the reason, Hillary2016 decided to join the Jill Stein recount follies.

How dumb was the Hillary2016 alliance with Jill Stein? First, Hillary Clinton and Hillary2016 marked themselves as following the leader, Jill Stein. Second, Hillary Clinton and Hillary2016 convicted themselves of fetid hypocrisy with the calls for a recount because of their earlier condemnations of Donald J. Trump and his wise declaration that he would wait and see if the elections were fair before he would commit to a blanket acceptance of the results. Add to that the fact Hillary Clinton conceded the election and asked Americans to unite behind President-Elect Donald J. Trump and the foolishness of the enterprise becomes transparent.

It’s bad enough that Hillary Clinton and Hillary2016 come off so hypocritical in this recount foolishness. But the greater stupidity is that this endorsement of the Jill Stein scam helps Jill Stein and does not help Hillary Clinton nor Hillary2016 at all. How does this recount nonsense help Jill Stein politically? Look at what Jill Stein is up to. In Pennsylvania, Jill Stein is using the recount to get three voters to sign up for her in every election district to pursue the recount that will likely never happen. That’s a potentially powerful organization in Pennsylvania in 2020 even if not all of those that sign up support the Green Party in future elections. Why Hillary2016 enables this threat to the Obama Dim Party is a mystery that can only be answered by “stupidity”.

But wait, the stupidity of Hillary Clinton and Hillary2016 is even greater than all that. To experience in full the stupidity of Hillary2016 look no further than the statement issued by Marc Elias, the Hillary Clinton attorney:

Listening and Responding To Calls for an Audit and Recount

Over the last few days, officials in the Clinton campaign have received hundreds of messages, emails, and calls urging us to do something, anything, to investigate claims that the election results were hacked and altered in a way to disadvantage Secretary Clinton. [snip]

It should go without saying that we take these concerns extremely seriously. We certainly understand the heartbreak felt by so many who worked so hard to elect Hillary Clinton, and it is a fundamental principle of our democracy to ensure that every vote is properly counted. [snip]

First, since the day after the election we have had lawyers and data scientists and analysts combing over the results to spot anomalies that would suggest a hacked result. These have included analysts both from within the campaign and outside, with backgrounds in politics, technology and academia.

Second, we have had numerous meetings and calls with various outside experts to hear their concerns and to discuss and review their data and findings. As a part of this, we have also shared out data and findings with them. Most of those discussions have remained private, while at least one has unfortunately been the subject of leaks.

Third, we have attempted to systematically catalogue and investigate every theory that has been presented to us within our ability to do so.

Fourth, we have examined the laws and practices as they pertain to recounts, contests and audits.

Fifth, and most importantly, we have monitored and staffed the post-election canvasses — where voting machine tapes are compared to poll-books, provisional ballots are resolved, and all of the math is double checked from election night. [snip]

Because we had not uncovered any actionable evidence of hacking or outside attempts to alter the voting technology, we had not planned to exercise this option ourselves, but now that a recount has been initiated in Wisconsin, we intend to participate in order to ensure the process proceeds in a manner that is fair to all sides. If Jill Stein follows through as she has promised and pursues recounts in Pennsylvania and Michigan, we will take the same approach in those states as well. We do so fully aware that the number of votes separating Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton in the closest of these states — Michigan — well exceeds the largest margin ever overcome in a recount. But regardless of the potential to change the outcome in any of the states, we feel it is important, on principle, to ensure our campaign is legally represented in any court proceedings and represented on the ground in order to monitor the recount process itself.

The campaign is grateful to all those who have expended time and effort to investigate various claims of abnormalities and irregularities. While that effort has not, in our view, resulted in evidence of manipulation of results, now that a recount is underway, we believe we have an obligation to the more than 64 million Americans who cast ballots for Hillary Clinton to participate in ongoing proceedings to ensure that an accurate vote count will be reported.

Absorb the full stupidity of that statement. In short it says “It was an honest election our investigations reveal, but we will follow the leader, Jill Stein, and participate in the recount, which is sure to change absolutely nothing, because so many of you are feeling bad.”

We’re all for recounts if the aim is to determine whether or not the will of the voters was determinative. In 2008 when Barack Obama challenged the Hillary Clinton victory in New Hampshire we applauded because we wanted to see Barack Obama humiliated yet again as we relived the glorious victory. If these Jill Stein/Hillary2016 recounts were about determining the will of the voters we would be in support of them. But these recounts are an attempt to delegitimatize the amazing victory by Donald J. Trump in this year’s elections.

Frankly we are enjoying these recount follies. For the next few weeks we can enjoy reruns of the Donald J. Trump victories and this time have sufficient opportunity to savor them. Some will say that we are selfish voluptuaries engaged in sensuous pleasures by reliving election night 2016. Guilty. We also enjoy the spectacle of Jill Stein as she takes money from those she previously robbed and they donate the funds willingly.

We should not be alone in this bliss. The Republican Party and it’s leader, President-Elect Donald J. Trump should cherish this moment too.

President-Elect Donald J. Trump and his GOP rightfully denounce the recount effort as an attempt to delegitimatize President Donald J. Trump. All the same, the GOP and Trump functionaries have to see that the rise of Jill Stein and the Green Party mostly helps the GOP and President Donald J. Trump. The GOP and President-Elect Donald J. Trump get to have their cake, eat it too, and have Hillary2016 pay for it. Marvelous!

There’s an unresolved senate election in Louisiana but the Obama Party is too busy with recounts to do anything to win the race. Even the dim see the light somewhat:

It’s a waste of time and money. It is not going to change anything,” said Democratic strategist Joe Trippi, who served as campaign manager for former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean’s 2004 presidential campaign.

I think it probably was the Stein people looking for a way to stay relevant, raise some money and take the stink off of them. Instead of everybody screaming, ‘You made Trump happen,’ she is counting the votes to change that whole narrative.”

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. King Trippi knows Hillary2016 is deaf, dumb, and blind. Hank Sheinkopf can see the future, “It will create further depression among the extreme Hillaryites.”

So who wins this battle on a strategic level? Obviously Trump. The attempts to delegitimatize President-Elect Donald J. Trump lead to the delegitimatizing of Trump’s opponents instead. Big Media tried to hurt President-Elect Donald J. Trump with this recount story but instead Big Media is forced to show the recount as a clown car of ridiculousness:

As Stein points out herself in a video posted on Sunday, initiating a statewide recount of Pennsylvania’s vote is “especially complicated.” [snip]

Stein’s lawsuit would have to present evidence that election fraud was probable in Pennsylvania. Democratic Secretary of State Pedro Cortes says there’s no evidence of voting irregularities during the Nov. 8 election

“Absolutely not,” Cortes told reporters. “There is no evidence whatsoever that points to any type of irregularity in any way, shape or form.

While Stein is essentially alleging that errors, tampering or hacking had occurred to affect outcomes in the three states, even computer scientists who recommended a recount to rule out tampering have gone to great lengths to make it clear there is no proof of hacking or fraud in the election results. [snip]

So instead, Stein is promoting an “especially complicated” voter-initiated recount effort that involves three voters in every precinct or election district in Pennsylvania submitting a notarized affidavit to the clerk in their individual election districts. [snip]

According to the Department of State, there were 9,163 voting precincts in Pennsylvania during the 2016 election. So Stein would need over 27,000 voters to file notarized affidavits, but it’s unclear if that avenue is even still available.

According to Wanda Murren, spokeswoman for the Pennsylvania Department of State, the deadline under the law for a voter-initiated recount at the county level had been Monday, Nov. 21. [snip]

Complicating any recount effort is the fact that Pennsylvania is one of 15 states that use electronic voting machines that don’t have a paper-backed audit. [snip]

Even if Stein were able to overcome the odds and initiate a statewide recount, it’s doubtful Clinton would be able to overcome Trump’s 70,638 lead in Pennsylvania.

There is no way to overturn President-Elect Donald J. Trump’s lead in Pennsylvania. Even if there was, which there isn’t, the election would go to the House of Representatives wherein the Republican congress would vote Trump.

Pennsylvania is the toughest nut to crack and is a must crack. Pennsylvania alone provides Donald J. Trump with enough electoral votes to make him president. As Pennsylvania is solid Trump, there are problems in Wisconsin too:

The Wisconsin Elections Commission agreed Monday to begin a recount of the presidential election on Thursday but was sued by Green Party candidate Jill Stein after the agency declined to require county officials to recount the votes by hand.

It will be a race to finish the recount in time to meet a daunting federal deadline, and the lawsuit could delay the process. Under state law, the recount must begin this week as long as Stein or another candidate pays the $3.5 million estimated cost of the recount by Tuesday, election officials said. [snip]

Citing the results of a 2011 statewide recount that changed only 300 votes of 1.5 million, Elections Commission chairman Mark Thomsen, a Democrat, said this presidential recount is very unlikely to change Republican Donald Trump’s win in the state.

If these cases ever make it into court the testimony by Democrat officials that Trump won fair and square will carry great weight. The New Yorker is reduced to bitter tears of reality:

The Recount Road to Nowhere

A candidate needs two hundred and seventy Electoral College votes to win the Presidency. Trump has three hundred and six, and Clinton has two hundred and thirty-two. [snip]

A recount would have to reverse the results in all three states to get Clinton to two hundred and seventy. And, as noted, this has never happened in cases where the margins are as large as those in Wisconsin or Pennsylvania; even Michigan would be at the edge of past experience. (It is worth noting that Jill Stein won enough votes in Michigan and Wisconsin to account for Clinton’s losses there.) Stein’s Wisconsin application lists a number of reasons for a recount, most of which are paraphrases of a single thought: the Russians might, just might, have fixed the election—after all, they hacked John Podesta’s e-mail.

Into this futility came the Charge of the Dim Brigade. Hillary2016 is truly the dumbest campaign ever and in this post campaign period proves itself to be the dumbest post campaign campaign ever! As M. Joseph Sheppard notes, this level of stupidity can easily lead to long term GOP dominance.

Other writers have noted the high level of foolishness in this recount business in almost graphic detail.

So what does this all mean?

First, President-Elect Donald J. Trump should secretly be happy with Jill Stein’s strategy to build up the Green Party and Naderize future elections against the Dims.

Second, the GOP should be ecstatic that Jill Stein will Naderize the Obama Dimocrat Party further into oblivion.

Third, this recount nonsense helps the GOP win the Louisiana Senate race and 53 GOP seats in the U.S. Senate while the Obama Dimocrats are busy chasing their tails and ratcheting up their level of stupidity.

Fourth, the GOP and soon to be President Donald J. Trump can only giggle with glee at the prospect of a Nancy Pelosi win to be the top House Dimocrat.

Fifth, President-Elect Donald J. Trump and the GOP should restrain their public giggles and laughter as Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren drag the Dim Party of Obama further and further left, if that’s possible.

Sixth, President-Elect Donald J. Trump and the GOP should take tranquilizers to further restrain their public giggles and laughter at the prospect of the new DNC Chair – the black, Muslim, leftist loon, Keith Ellison who will no doubt drive away whatever white working class support the Dims have and flee to the GOP.

Seventh, President-Elect Donald J. Trump should continue to be the smart tactician and appoint the best persons to his cabinet and be ready to roll out the erasure of the Obama horror soon after January 20, 2017.

Lastly, we should all brace ourselves for more winning!

November 25th, 2016

Romney SOS: Candidate @RealDonaldTrump Warned #PresidentElect Trump About SnakeMitt

Wanna be snakebit by SnakeMitt? Candidate @RealDonaldTrump warned President-Elect Donald J. Trump about the danger of vicious vipers.

Donald J. Trump knows how to hire people. Trump hires the best. Trump knows how to hire for his company. Trump knew how to hire for his campaign. Remember “The Apprentice”? Remember “Celebrity Apprentice”? Donald J. Trump hires the best and his judgement should be trusted.

However… Does anyone want President-Elect Donald J. Trump to be Snakebit by SnakeMitt? Candidate Donald J. Trump warned President-Elect Donald J. Trump about snakes.

Here’s our latest video:

Mitt Romney says “You knew damn well I was a snake, before you took me in.”

This Mitt Romney for Secretary of State?:

Um, Nope. Don’t be snakebit by SnakeMitt.

November 24th, 2016

A Preet Bharara Happy Thanksgiving: Make Thanksgiving Great Again

For the first time in the 21st century, Americans (starting in January 20) will have a leader worthy of the people. After 16 years of horror America is not only back from the precipice of death but on to a wonderful, dare we say “great”, future. Rejoice, rejoice, there’s much for everyone to be thankful for this Thanksgiving 2016.

First of all, if you are reading this, you’re alive. Give thanks for the joys of life. Whatever “challenges” or difficulties you face, you’re alive. Be really thankful.

Because we mostly talk politics here, let’s talk politics and be thankful. For those that voted for President-Elect Donald J. Trump the joys of the season have an extra sprinkle of tidings of great joy. Think back to how the country would have gone down the drain under an Obama Third Term and all the disasters averted, and rejoice, rejoice, rejoice.

Of course, President-Elect Donald J. Trump has much to be thankful for throughout his blessed life and we are grateful he has taken on the burdens of office. President-Elect Donald J. Trump has much to be thankful for being himself.

For those that voted for Hillary Clinton you can be thankful for all the votes she received and that she now can enjoy her family in retirement. As the Clinton Global Initiative falters, because without political power the donations will dry up, lots of people will be able to find new avenues to explore and new jobs to find.

For Barack Obama and his cult you may find solace in knowing that now Barack Obama can golf and finesse his flim-flams and corruptions without having to pretend he cares for anyone other than himself. Moose and squirrel are free to enrich themselves, unless they are indicted.

Those that detest political corruption, have a great deal to rejoice about this wonderful Thanksgiving. Not only are the corrupt flung out into the streets to ply their whoring out of political office, some still in politics are facing justice. Remember the guy we wrote about several times by the name of Preet Bharara? Well, this Thanksgiving Preet Bharara lived up to what we wrote about him. Read what we wrote back in June, then enjoy this big meal cooked just in time for Thanksgiving:

The feds’ Albany corruption probe inched closer to Gov. Cuomo Thursday with the unsealing of charges against two of his most trusted former aides — who imitated “Sopranos” mobsters by using “ziti” as a code word for alleged cash payoffs tied to the governor’s pet upstate projects.

Longtime Cuomo family loyalist Joseph Percoco — whom the governor once called a “third son” to his late father, Mario — was accused of pocketing more than $315,000 in bribes by shaking down a Maryland-based energy company and a Syracuse development firm in pay-to-play schemes.

Disgraced lobbyist Todd Howe, who hired Percoco as an intern for then-Gov. Mario Cuomo, was also revealed to have secretly pleaded guilty Tuesday to a slew of graft and tax charges in a deal to cooperate with authorities.

Howe’s admitted crimes involve pocketing hundreds of thousands of dollars from developers to rig bids on multimillion-dollar state contracts linked to the upstate Buffalo Billion economic-revitalization plan — at the same time he was working as a consultant to the taxpayer-funded program. [snip]

When asked if he was willing to give Cuomo, who was not charged, a “clean bill of health,” Bharara did no such thing.

“There is no allegation of wrongdoing or misconduct by the governor anywhere in this complaint. That’s all I’m going to say,” Bharara said.

Bharara — who already has won corruption convictions against former Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver and former Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos since Cuomo disbanded the Moreland Commission on corruption at the state Capitol — also declined to say if investigators had interviewed the governor as part of the continuing probe.

“I will tell you, I really do hope there’s a trial in this case so all New Yorkers can see in gory detail what their state government has been up to,” Bharara said.

Cuomo’s name does crop up repeatedly in the complaint.

Root out the corruption Preet! This story at some point will get the attention it deserves. Preet Bharara imprisoned the top Democrat and the top Republican in New York State. Preet Bharara is currently busy with his investigation of Huma Abedin’s husband, Anthony Weiner. Rumors abound that Preet Bharara will continue to root out corruption at the highest levels:

The FBI has multiple investigations on the books involving the Clinton Foundation, according to The Daily Caller.

The one in New York City, where the charity is based, is reportedly headed by U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara, a prosecutor who made a name for himself in the midst of the the financial crisis by acting on fraud and public corruption cases.

That the United States Attorney’s office in the Southern District of New York is chasing the case could spell trouble for the Clintons.

An official who spoke to The Daily Caller said an investigation by Bharara’s office ‘would be seen by agents as a positive development as prosecutors there are generally thought to be more aggressive than the career lawyers within the DOJ.’

The public can give thanks that the corrupt will soon be imprisoned. The corrupt can be thankful that they will live for years knowing they will have three good meals a day and free housing courtesy of the Department of Prisons. Give thanks you corrupt bastards. Give thanks. Everyone wins. Sometimes you get what you want and what you need.

Let it bleed. While investigators investigate, corruption is rooted out, we find President-Elect Donald J. Trump is busy uniting the country this Thanksgiving, being gracious, while still knowing the corruption will be removed:

What a joyous Thanksgiving. Lift a glass to the hardworking people who voted for Donald J. Trump!!! They truly are the salt of the earth who have saved the country.

Sometimes you really do get what you want. “Thanks.” Give Thanks.

Happy Happy Happy Thanksgiving!

November 21st, 2016

Sometimes, You Get What You Want: President-Elect @RealDonaldTrump @Transition2017

Some golfer, or somebody, said “The harder you practice, the luckier you get.” Golfer Jack Nicklaus did say “I don’t believe in luck.” Ordinarily we agree with that sentiment. Hard work and preparation often lead to what is called “luck”. But with Donald J. Trump, er, President-Elect Donald J. Trump, um, come-on guy no one is that lucky, no amount of work or preparation can explain how lucky President-Elect Donald J. Trump is. Come-on, guy. Is President-Elect Donald J. Trump bribing every kook on the left or is he just lucky or are they just that koo-koo-kook???

Today we planned to discuss what President-Elect Donald J. Trump could, would, or (out of the box ideas from us) should do. It was supposed to be (and will be, as we will publish that article soon enough), a continuation of our previous discussion President Trump Revolution Blueprint Priorities: What, When, How, @RealDonaldTrump Must Do. But events of a very lucky nature for President-Elect Donald J. Trump intervened, and as a prelude to Thanksgiving, today we discuss the luck, preparation, or divine intervention on behalf of our newly minted President-Elect.

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Throughout his short campaign which began on June 15, 2015 and ended successfully on November 8-9, 2016 Donald J. Trump often played a song at his rallies. The song was “You can’t always get what you want” by the Rolling Stones. The chorus of the song is “You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, well you might find, you get what you need.”

On election day, for survival itself, the nation needed to get rid of Barack Obama and of necessity the Obama Third Term, which is what Hillary Clinton embodied. The country got what the country needed. America, whether by divine intervention, or as a product of human activity, got what America needed to survive. But for many, we not only got what we needed, we got what we wanted. We got President-Elect Donald J. Trump.

Likewise, Donald J. Trump got what he needed. Trump needed to win because if he had lost all Hell would have come down upon him. All the power and terror of the totalitarian left would have been loosed upon Trump and his family. Donald J. Trump got what he needed to survive. Donald J. Trump also got what he wanted – which was to lead the country and Make America Great Again.

This weekend, President-Elect Donald J. Trump got more icing on the cake with cherries on top and white and dark chocolate, and marsh-mellows, and syrup and sparklers, and Christmas/Thanksgiving/New Year’s and the Fourth of July combined. All these treats came, special delivery prime, with bows and ribbons, gift wrapped in gold leaf gorgeousness, courtesy of the kook left. It was as if Santa emptied his toy factory, the Easter bunny ovaries worked a lifetime of chocolate egg production, the Tooth Fairy rewarded every tooth ever lost, the Three Kings unpacked their camels, and every Hanukkah gelt and dreidel, was gifted to President-Elect Donald J. Trump.

Where to begin? Let’s start at the very bottom of the barrel: Barack Obama. This weekend Barack Obama gave President-Elect Donald J. Trump and the Republican Party a great gift:

Obama — concluding the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit in Lima — acknowledged that he wouldn’t hesitate to play critic in a Trump presidency if “necessary.” [snip]

“If there’s specifics that have less to do with some proposal or battle but goes to the core questions about our values and our ideals, and if I think that it’s necessary or helpful for me to defend those ideal then I’ll examine it when it comes.”

Did President-Elect Donald J. Trump pay Barack Obama to say something so stupid??? What else could it be? How else to explain the full stupidity of this?? Obama’s legacy was on the ballot in November, sez B.O.:

An angry Obama puts himself on the ballot

Declaring he would consider it “a personal insult, an insult to my legacy” if black turnout falters for Hillary Clinton, Obama did what he got reamed for doing almost exactly two years ago, in the heat of midterm elections in which disdain for him was the defining force: Yes, he said, he is pretty much on the ballot in November.

My name may not be on the ballot, but our progress is on the ballot,” Obama said, his voice rising to a shout as he went well beyond what sources familiar with the speech said was a tamer version of the riff in the prepared remarks.

Obama lost:

Obama lost. Everything went up in smoke. The 10 year plan, the 40 year plan, ObamaCare, TPP – it all went up in smoke – the “transformational world historic” Obama is less than a footnote, less than an asterisk, less than a parenthesis, now.

Most importantly the nonsense about the “Obama coalition” is proven to be nothing but what we termed back in the 2008 election cycle: the demographics of a situation comedy. Why is this all so important? Because the Democratic Party cannot begin to function, cannot recover from the Mistake in ’08 until and unless Barack Obama is repudiated by the Democratic Party.

The strategic mission for the GOP for the next several years should be to make sure that Barack Obama is the face of the Democratic Party for ever and ever. The GOP should not let any rational voice emerge within the Democratic Party. The minute any Democrat politician or interest group so much as suggests that Barack Obama does not represent the Democrat Party and/or that Barack Obama is the reason the Democrat Party is a pile of rubble – the GOP should insist that person is A RACIST!

Barack Obama wants to control the Democrat Party and the GOP should help Obama in that task. The GOP should denounce any and all rational people who want to get rid of Barack Obama, destroyer of the Democrat Party, as a racist – thereby insuring generations of Republican Party control of the Executive and Legislative branches of government.

In 2020 when the national parties meet in convention the GOP should do everything to make sure Barack Obama is center stage at the Democrat convention. If the Democrats in convention try to nudge Obama to anything but the center stage in prime time (like what they did to nonperson Jimmy Carter), the Republican Party should call them out and suggest the Democrat Party is a nest of racists out to deny Barack Obama all the glory he is due.

That Barack Obama destroyed the Democrat Party is now beyond dispute. The goal of the GOP for the next several election cycles should be to keep the Democrat Party in the hole Obama dug. Dig it??? To borrow from the poet Milton, let Obama rule in Hell, the GOP can serve in Heaven.

If Barack Obama, contra George W. Bush who did not critique Barack Obama, wants to be the face of the Democrat Party, let him. Insist on it. Barack Obama as the face of the Democrat Party, is like putting the picture of a rat with blood drenched teeth and diseased fur, on the label of a glass jar of baby food. Ugh!

President-Elect Donald J. Trump had more unsavory news this past weekend which might be painful, but which undoubtedly helps him enormously. That nasty John Wilkes Booth style ambush at the theater against Vice-President-Elect Mike Pence reminds Trump voters of what they are up against. Even within the left, haters of Trump and Pence, the ambush of Pence made no sense:

Steven Van Zandt of the E Street Band, one who is not shy about making pointed political statements, feels the cast of “Hamilton: An American Musical” bullied Vice President-elect Mike Pence when a cast member addressed Pence from the stage at the Friday, Nov. 18 performance.

“It was the most respectful, benign form of bullying ever. But bullying nonetheless. And by the way, human rights must be won, not asked for,” said Van Zandt in a series of tweets on Saturday, Nov. 19. “When artists perform the venue becomes your home. The audience are your guests. It’s taking unfair advantage of someone who thought they were a protected guest in your home”

“A guy comes to a Broadway show for a relaxing night out. Instead he gets a lecture from the stage! Not a level playing field. It’s bullying. You don’t single out an audience member and embarrass him from the stage. A terrible precedent to set.”

Abuse and bullying by the left is generally ignored by Big Media. But the ambush attack against the genial Mike Pence, well, made no sense because it alienated even those who don’t like the results of the election. Lucky winner? President-Elect Donald J. Trump who defended Vice-President-Elect Mike Pence.

Mike Pence is not the only one bullied by the leftist totalitarians. On Sunday night, Melania Trump was bullied and abused. Imagine what would happen if lantern-jawed Michelle Obama was mocked on a nationally broadcast awards show the way the lovely Melania Trump was bullied:

The hosts of the 2016 American Music Awards, Gigi Hadid and Jay Pharoah, used their joint opening monologue to rib President-elect Donald Trump and incoming first lady Melania Trump.

Hadid tried to embody Melania Trump, saying that she had been working on the impression “all week.” The supermodel puckered her lips, saying: “I gotta get the face right.”

“I love my husband…,” Hadid, 21, started in a thick accent.

We’re not the only ones who saw the hypocrisy of the left as the lovely Melania Trump was bullied:

Without a doubt this abuse of the lovely and gentle Melania Trump must hurt the entire Trump family. Trump voters and supporters are incensed by this abuse. Cold blooded bottom line analysis? This helps President-Elect Donald J. Trump because his voters are reminded of the how low the Democrats can go.

Also, even though President-Elect Donald J. Trump does not like being victimized, the fact is that any decent American that sees Melania Trump bullied and abused, mocked and jeered at by an ugly thing on TV in a silly awards show, will feel sympathy for the entire Trump family. Every time President-Elect Donald J. Trump and President Donald J. Trump make the case against Big Media, this attack against the next First Lady will be Exhibit #1.

As we have written repeatedly, Big Media is the enemy. The Hollywood establishment and the lowlifes of the entertainment industry are but another swamp that must be drained. Fortunately, for every American who sees the need to destroy Big Media and the cohorts of the left, Donald J. Trump will soon be President of the United States. Sometimes you get what you need.

Ain’t that a kick in the head?